I used to have a landline phone with a 911 button on the bottom. My cat sometimes walked across the long table where the phone was and occasionally stepped on the 911 button. I’d be somewhere in the house minding my own business when the police would knock on the door, all business, and demand to know why I called…

Handsome in a bland sort of way. Blandsome.

It happened to me back in the 1980s and instead of reporting it, I was embarrassed and thought it was somehow my fault. My kind manager, who was an older woman, noticed that something was going on and tried to talk to me about it, but I cut her off and almost ran out of her office.

Tongue in cheek, Scott. Tongue in cheek.

And get information about cats. Feral cats, missing cats, found cats, cats who need homes, cats who might need homes, cats who might need spaying or neutering, cat carriers for sale, cat carrier wanted, cat. Cat. So many cats. Or maybe that’s just my NextDoor feed here in Orlando.

Well, it’s a gossip site, so grain of salt and all that. However, I wouldn’t put anything past that mother. I have never watched their show but have read enough about them online to believe that she would be capable of doing anything to sustain the attention she craves.

You may be right about that: http://blindgossip.com/?p=87314#more-87314

She texted me a few, but I don’t feel right posting them without asking. Some are public, though, here. Click through the gallery at the top.

A friend of mine is attending the Emmy Awards, and I helped her pick out her dress. She isn’t on TV, but her partner is. I haven’t seen them yet. Fingers crossed. He’s on the show that stars the host of the awards tonight.

It’s soda, you jerks. (get it? old school reference)

What? Pen and pin shouldn’t be pronounced the same. I grew up outside Philly, and now I live in Central Florida, and in both places they are two distinctly pronounced words.

Okay, not just me then. I said the same thing above and posted a picture of Lovitz, which may or may not get approved because it’s huge.

I was so confused at first, person with a very cool screen name, because I thought you meant this guy and I was like WHY WHY Ronan?

I tried that, and it made my acid reflux WORSE. So much worse.

All I know is someone told me to drink a shot of it every morning to prevent acid reflux, and after four days of the worst acid reflux I ever had, I gave up. It doesn’t work, or at least not for me.

Thank you. Camden isn’t much better. I’m so tired of trendiness. I know someone who has the name “Zoeigh” picked out for their soon-to-be-born child. I asked the future grandmother, “Why so many extra silent letters?” She laughed and said she asked the same thing, and they replied, “Because it’s different!” Ugh.

I LOVE that one. It’s got more saturated fat than I need, so I try not to have it more than about twice a month. But YUM.

Clearly you have never had an Amy’s cheese enchilada meal. I just finished one mere seconds ago. Heaven.

When I tried to switch my cat’s food from Purina One to a healthier version, she refused to eat for three days. She got a UTI and then her gums and the inside of her ears turned yellow because of liver issues. I switched back to Purina One and she started eating again, and now she’s fine. But it cost me $1,000 in vet…

Oh look! All Republicans! What a shock.