I can’t get past those bathing suits in the picture...very uncomfortable looking.

Apply rubber band to base of turkey to account for inevitable bleeding, hold the turkey by the tip, pull until tissue is taut, pull the blade towards yourself in a brief sawing motion, smile, “gobble gobble motherfucker” when turkey rips free from body.

“Pass the turkey neck and dumplings”

I’m not.

The penis actually has no nerve endings, it’s sensitivity is a myth.

Did you know Lorena died in a car wreck?

Women are mutilated by their partners on such a regular basis that it barely makes the news. In my area alone in the last 2 years a woman’s husband cut her breasts off and a woman who went to my high school had acid thrown in her face by her bf. The acid thrower got a whopping 2 years in prison.

This reenactment is truly ridiculous. Honestly, part of me suspects that they’re playing up the comedic value intentionally.

I keep telling people this. We may live in the Bay Area, but there is a lot of hate to go around.

Old people are entitled as fuck. They think their age gives them the right to do anything they want/not do anything they want (like learn how to use a computer, for instance).

I really, honestly, feel like the majority of the audience doesn’t actually realize they are being manipulated.

I, too, am pregnant, and while not American, will obviously be continuing my nightly tradition of doing the same, regardless of holiday or foodstuff. You, comrade, are a paragon of decorum for eating over the sink. I have just been kneeling, vacant-eyed, bathed in the cold glow of the open refrigerator door light as…

At least you plan to go to the sink like a civilized person. I work till ten, and my plan when I get home is dragging a chair to the fridge and dipping leftover turkey straight from it’s foil cocoon into an old margarine tub filled with cranberry sauce. I will however class it up by drinking my bourbon from a glass. I…

I’m pregnant and have no time for sandwich-making. I shall be eating leftovers as I always do, cold, right out of the off-brand tupperware, standing over the sink. Come at me.

I’m not sure, but I’m not going to go in and ask. Either group would smell weakness on me and I’d end up doing trig or saying the rosary for hours. Both would be penance of a sort.

I’m really sorry the internet scum are coming after you like that. They’re pathetic and petty people who get off on making strangers feel bad. Please accept this gif of a cat attacking a watermelon as a reminder that the internet also gives us gifs of cats attacking watermelons.

This is off topic but I don’t think if I made a post on the open thread anyone would see.

Nobody I know talk like the narcissistic navel-gazing dweebs on this show. If they did I'd probably shoot them.

I...was not aware that Patrick Wilson is considered attractive.