They just inflate another one

“Hi! It looks like you’re trying to run an A-2 Gap Slant? Would you like help running an A-2 Gap Slant?”

Right, that is the main concern. Not the assholes shooting up the joint.

Also

Please please Mark Cuban. I’ve never asked you for anything. This is all I want.

It was brought into the union the same year as West Dakota and South Hampshire.

When did East Carolina even become a state?

Great. Now I’m crying in a McDonald’s. And it's not for any of the usual reasons.

For some reason, when I see the pics of the Maybach you’ve written about, I see the image in my mind instead...

I believe 164 BCE was also the last time a Buffalo sports team was in the playoffs.

You know his nickname will be Chubbs, Flounder or Rusty.

Just like the puddin’, first he cooks...then he chills...awwwwwwwwww yeah...

ooohhhhhh yeaaahhh

Aw, yeah...

$240 worth of pudding.

Selfish choice: Give the 1996 Stanley Cup to my Florida Panthers.

When people call the NHL a Mom and Pop league I didn’t realize it was because they’re not letting us go out with our friends on school nights.

“I’m not Batman.” Hmmm...sounds suspiciously like something someone would say if they were trying to hide the fact that they are Batman.