No lunch provided, will be standing all day and can’t bring lunch?  Fuck that shit.  That sounds like a recipe for super hangry people by 3 pm. 

Or face or his teeth out.

Hell, they would probably be at least OK with 4 more years of Trump. It would just hasten the decline of America as a superpower as China swoops into that power vacuum faster.

That’s 100% on brand for him. See also what he did with the Mexico tariff threats.

This does sound fake as hell.  Where are the witnesses? 

Maybe it’s a regional usage thing but typically recovering addicts and alcoholics use ‘recovering’ instead of ‘recovered’ as one never stops being an alcoholic/addict. ‘Recovered’ implies that they could go back to non-problematic substance use after a period of sobriety. This is not the case. Nobody uses ‘recovering’…

“I’ll take a Crystal Meth burger with a side of hash please.”

Only if he was beating a woman. 

I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my big manly penis truck.

All Reagan needed to be distracted was a big bowl of jelly beans. Have they tried that with Trump yet? A KFC bucket may be more apropos...

My parents still have a landline and a rotary phone in the basement.  It’s kind of boss. 

This is what I have totally done when I run low on clean socks.  My warm wash loads are 50% socks and 50% towels. 

Oooh, that is a good one. 

Wow, didn’t think of that connection but that is insanely dumb.  How productive/effective is a 76 member board. 

Bravo.  The setting and style reminded me of Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy (not sure if that was intentional.) 

Haven’t the homeless suffered enough?

I wonder if my cardiologist offers a lifetime pass for angioplasties... 

This is a pretty unbelievable story.  What are the odds the cop was wasted and just wrecked his cruiser?

In the eagles defense, it looks like there’s a dead rodent on Trump’s skull.  Honest mistake.

Maybe he received a heart transplant from a white supremacist (who didn’t swear)?