i pray to the dark lord that it’s Barron, taking his shitheel pops out from the inside

I think the story not being told here is that somebody is tipping off the press on the Big Stuff now. Between dropping the dime on the Stormy Daniels payoff and now this, somebody is going Scorched Earth on Trump’s fat ass.

Trump’s gonna disappear in Davos this week and then there will be reported sightings of him at several McDonald’s in Moscow. My point is, that he doesn’t care as long as he gets his Big Macs.

What sort of sharks do they have in Russia?

I can’t help but entertain the possibility that this was all a ruse by the shark charities to get more money, and I ain’t even mad, because they need more money. Give to sharks!

Fun fact: my wife works on the digital side of Barnes & Noble and I can say with some authority that dinosaur erotica went out of vogue sometime in 2014.

My Tantric Sex business mainly involves trickle down economics.

Ooh, I wish I’d put THAT on my sign at the march today.

“I’m not a feminist, I’m an egalitarian” *strokes neckbeard*

She got $1.25M to Never Speak Of It Again. But if she does they’ll fine her only 12.5% of that.

Sharon Stone is a gift we don’t deserve. That cozy sweater, on the other hand, is a gift I do deserve.

Counterpoint: All Starburst flavors are garbage.

From a friend who is far more eloquent than I:

Next time, Nancy...

This ASTOUNDS me. Like, how did you not fucking realize this would be a really terrible idea? I know in the scheme of things in the world, this doesn’t matter, but this level of stupidity just takes my breath away. I am not a monarchist by any means, it’s more: if you’re gonna be in their employ, you know the rules of…

She’s committed to transformative?

My favorite:

She still never answered why they split. She vehemently denied that he cheated but then she said things were “really bad” for a long time. I mean, what’s “really bad” if not cheating? Did he leave the toilet seat up? Forget to open the door for her when walking into the Regency? Does he have morning breath? Did he…

If for no other reason than to specify what happens to the “Tommy’s cookies” jar.