I just got a call from Ted Cruz (don’t know how he got my number), he wanted to know if A) Would she do that if the image were printed on a t-shirt and B) If he could wear the shirt while she did it and C) If you validate parking.

Baylor probably.

61? When I finally sell my old clunker I need to find out whoever’s been rolling back back back his odometer.

Yes, unions vs. transgender bathroom rights, the classic “either-or” choice.

The rumors that he used pine tar on his mitt have hurt his chances a bit.

The world is so unpredictable and chaotic, we just have no idea when 2016 will finally be over. And that is the hardest part.

“Anything I can do with my right hand, I’ve gotta do with my left,”

I agree Jan Stenrud is a dick.

Jan Stenrud is a very fun name to say in my bad Minnesota accent.

His kick in the playoffs last year was a bigger draw still.

+1 deep cut totally unnecessary but nevertheless awesome Knoblauch burn. 

Knoblauch used to flash that same smile throwing to first, knowing he was making some lucky fan’s day with a free souvenir.

Helmet to Helmet contact. Unsportsmanlike

malcolm gladwell. a man who makes up theories to describe things he doesn’t understand.

“I’ll tell you the funniest is that I’ll go in the team locker room before a game and everyone’s getting dressed. No women are anywhere, and I’m allowed to go in, because I’m the owner of the team and therefore I’m inspecting it. … ‘Is everyone OK?’ You know, they’re standing there with no clothes. ‘Is everybody OK?’…

Is that an alligator or a kicker?

Take your star, you jerk.

Getting tackled by a girl is nothing to be ashamed of. Now getting tackled by a kicker...

He’s such a wang for always acting so cocky after he hits a dong.

It’s amazing to watch. This defense is beyond legit and Sam Bradford has perfectly filled the role of quarterback mercenary that Vikings fans have grown accustomed to over the last 25 years. I mean, I know the Vikings are still going to fuck this up (Blair Walsh), but I’m gonna enjoy the circus while it’s in town…