This would make me laugh or at least giggle. Farts are funny! Also coming from someone like him makes it all the more funny.

“One does not feel wiser, braver or more optimistic after drinking it”

It’s not an actual food reference.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

Exactly! And how can anyone eat anything chocolate (cookies, cake, brownies, etc.) without a glass of milk?  What will I use to make pudding?

“If you can’t cook without dairy, you need to reassess your skills.”
It’s not a matter of can’t. It a matter of QUALITY. Real Dairy provides specific protein structures when heated that give food a specific mouthfeel and texture. NO amount of gums, nuts, or thickeners can substitute for true heavy cream, or its thinner…

Because you and I are normal humans and not badly programmed cyborgs.

I can’t comprehend almond milk in cereal. It doesn’t compute for me.

THANK YOU.

Dude. DUDE.

Ramen!
They’ll pry my milk from my cold dead hands!

I love milk and always have. I will defend my snow white beverage of choice until the end! How can you make real hot cocoa without milk? What would my special spaghetti sauce be without that dash of cream at the end? And dammit, YOU EAT CEREAL WITH MILK. I don’t wanna hear from you weirdos who eat it dry or whatever.

*raises hand*  I do.  Usually with Oreos.  Hell, sometimes I drink straight from the jug because I get a craving.

I like milk. Also, there’s some reason to believe I’m more of a psychopath. The theory has been put forth by a couple of actual doctors over the years.

Yes, but dammit, we COOK with it. Let’s see you make all your lovely baked goods, sauces, and mac n cheese dishes without it!

This story is absolutely true. When I was a teenager in the late 70s, my parents had a back-to-the–land phase and bought an old farmhouse in the country. Although our main residence was still in the city, we would spend weekends and summer vacations at the farm, growing vegetables, renovating the old house, and…

Yikes! The clicking on the glass gave me the willies!

Also, it reminded me of the only evidence of ghostly phenomena that I’ve personally experienced at my presumably-haunted workplace (a 400+ year old building where others have definitely reported creepy happenings): A couple of times, when I’ve been working in one of…

This happened probably ten years ago. My mom is psychic, and after a bunch of unexplainable events I think we all realized that she wasn’t full of it. Now, I’m not going to ask people to believe or not believe, but this did happen, and you can take it how you want.

So this is second-hand but I 100% believe it because I’ve been to the space many times and ~felt things~. My friend’s son goes to a daycare in the basement of an old church in the PNW that has been converted into a community space (they still use the sanctuary for services but the rest of the buildings are leased to…

A friend of mine had an experience where she got this powerful urge to jump off a particular balcony in a building she was visiting for the first time. She was staring over the edge, transfixed, when the friend she was with asked her if she was alright. She said something vague about being fine, and the friend said,…