Ehhhhhhhhhhh I mean, the title is pretty bad, but calling someone with a foot deformity a “circus freakshow” is really harsh, IMHO. I had surgery a few years ago to fix a foot deformity that runs in my family and makes it difficult to walk, and my foot was definitely botched by nature, if by botched by nature you mean…

Southwest, JetBlue, and Porter if you’re going to Canada all the way, baby.

I do too, and I cut up burgers and pizza because I always wear bright lipstick, and I end up with it on my chin if I try to bite into something I can’t eat in forkfuls.

Thank you, snooky wooky pookums sugar dumpling darling sweetiepants snugglebutt.

Huhhhhh

Oh god was that the Axe “body detailer?”

This is kind of making me want to bring back Talmudic punishment principles - maybe we can, like, have something large pick him up and smash him into the ground a few times until his foot’s nearly severed, and then be like, okay, we cool. Some eye-for-an-eye shit.

yeah he should worry about that, using the wrong body wash and not reinforcing your MANLY HIDE might result in you splitting open like a viscera-stuff water balloon*

I dislike sweet scents, most florals, and vanilla, so most of my stuff is citrus, ginger, grapefruit, or lemon, which also tend to be sort of gender-neutral washes.

Kind of like anyone wearing any article of clothing with a Confederate flag (see also: bumper stickers). Convenient early warning system!

You just described my brother. His only kind-of excuse is that he has a raging case of unmedicated/untreated bipolar disorder.

The bottom of what? Canadian after-school television?

Yes, the tender, fragile bloom of masculinity, so lovingly cradled in marketing’s bosom.

I MISS YOU ALREADY, PLEASE DON’T GO

OH MY GOD

I love reading articles like this - it just further validates how very right my decision not to have children is*. Every morning when I wake up, it’s like a Disney musical - chirping bluebirds help me dress and adorable little squirrels braid my hair, because I don’t have kids and I can do pretty much whatever the…

It’s almost like Persky thinks that beating and raping women isn’t really that big of a deal.

Men used to call me shrill, and loud, and strident. I didn’t know what to do! So I just started biting them instead.

On? Like balanced precariously on top of it?

Aaaaaaaaaaand cue comments about how engagement rings are stupid, diamonds are stupid, having a ring is stupid, wanting a ring is stupid*, and we spent the money on a down payment instead.**