“Ah, the homeless period.”

Good luck hitting off Bartolo Colon; he leaves nothing on the plate.

EASY...call all of it bullshit.

Should Donovan McNabb have been driving while under the influence of an alcoholic substance? What do you think?

Gave $20 to a stripper on my friends birthday and asked her to make him feel special. She took the money, told me to fuck off and I never saw her again.

So Kanye was right? Win the Super Bowl and drive off in a Hyundai?

“Ball 4”

Most of these either hit dead on for me or miss. The Twisted Metal ice cream truck BonafideSupraman brings up in the comments definitely is a good one.

Hi Guys, I have been lurking for a while and am looking to get into motorcycling. I was wondering if this honda is a good beginner bike? I want something that is controllable and like I am real responsible so I don’t want a weak bike that I will get bored with in 2 months. I want something I can grow into. What do you…

What other car will you get for $3,800? An NA Miata?

What’s the point of helmets when the Laser Raptors are running around?

This one time I walked in on my husband and some hooker going at it in the back of his van. They were doing some freaky stuff and had this dildo hard-wired through the seat or some crazy crap. What a bastard! I pulled out my gun and fired 8 shots. 6 shots put holes in the van and I have no idea where the other 2 went.

This is my dream.

What idiot called it Bark at the Park instead of the Marge Schott Memorial Bring The Bitch Out To The Ballpark Day.

[looks over visa]
[doesn’t recognize name]
[shrugs shoulders]

Must have been somebody charging the mound.

He did the exact same move I use when I'm trying to kill a wasp that flew into my house.

Seriously. It’s a baseball. It costs a few dollars, and it’s dirty. You didn’t catch it at a game, there’s no sentimental value. It’s just a ball. Buy a fucking ball.

They only reason to want the ball is so that someone else won’t be able to have a nice memory.

Fuck this guy. I hope his boat sinks.