Surprised it took so long to catch this guy, what with his signature catchphrase, “Goddamn it, touchdown Wake Forest! Fuck me, folks.”

“BRO WE’RE ALL, LIKE, OUTCASTS WHO CAME TOGETHER I CAN’T BELIEVE STANFORD WOULD DO THIS US MY LIFE IS OVER”

replace them with a sharing economy band made up of independent contractors with no association to the school

Fuck Stanford and that piece of shit band. The most pompous self indulgent idiots in all of college sports. They should keep the band around, they deserve each other.

Silicon Valley finishing school: where the elite learn to make video games, disrupt the middle class with a deregulated gig economy, or vertically integrate advertising revenue so that Peter Thiel can drink the blood of 10 year olds in his cryogenic meat locker.

At least they all probably stand for the national anthem though.

Just before the final out, my 95 year old grampa, veteran of two wars, cancer survivor, and long-suffering cubs fan, pulled me aside and, with a tear forming in his steel grey eyes, said, “The blacks ruined this neighborhood and your sister dresses like a whore.” This was for him.