I don't give a 200mph shit about speed, there are more enjoyable aspects of driving a car.

You should lead with the part where it's Japan-only

Nah, 2 or 4 spoke only. It's nice to hold the bottom for long straight stretches of highway. 

To each their own. I can't help but think of a Pomeranian with tear stains when I see those headlights. 

*ugly

It looks like a Camaro on the receiving end of anal sex with no lube. 

Go postal and send it!

Sure you can.  Have you ever done over 50mph on a bicycle? How about 100? 184 is bonkers fast assisted or not. And remember, that's not pavement. 

Some people get cold easily. My aunt wears sweaters and shivers when it gets below 75.

Thenew alphas have the biggest key fob I’ve ever seen. It’s absurd and uncomfortable.

Nah, Subaru style: if the car is on then the lights are on. 

If only I could put 4 turbos on my wagon for under $200....

Big jowls and small dog tear-stain headlights..... I love the f1-style taper to the middle of the grille, but the rest is ugly. 

Looks like a cheap Audi and sounds like a mid-end Audi. I saw one in person, it's so bland it hurts. 

They need to do a buttons-only system with a tablet dock for the heathens who don't want to watch the road. 

I valet. The disclaimers on our tickets are essentially “we aren’t responsible if you don’t maintain your piece of shit car.”

You know what's easy to clean? A flexible, durable, waterproof mat that you can remove to clean. 

I’ve always loved car bras

The easiest floors to clean are ones that you can take out to dump out and hose off. 

Putting carpet in cars is dumb. Removable flooring is the way to go.