I still believe nuclear is an essential part of our energy future.

Tom Clancy's Ghosn Recon. 

You should loosen the lug nuts a bit before jacking the car up

That’s so rad.

Or, third option, he thinks he’s taking hydroxychloroquine and a WH doctor, not wanting to lose his job or kill the President, has been feeding Trump placebos, knowing that the big dumb orange Hemorrhoid will never know the difference. 

Neutral: I’m active duty military. Regardless of what the Commander-in-Cheeto may say, the DoD’s take on it is, “We aren’t relaxing SHIT until we feel it’s truly safe to lower the Health Protection Condition (HPCON).”

This is a contradictory claim, since sneezing and coughing are symptoms, so more likely these people are in denial of their illness, which is a very different thing.

Get sick and die to own the libs.

Can we all get together to pay for a cruise ship where all the conservative mouth pieces can get away for a few weeks? Add in the Heritage Foundation people and top Trump appointments and I think this will work out just great.

Fort Myer’s Fire Department motto “Haven’t lost a foundation yet!”

I felt a great disturbance in Nissan’s sales channel, as if tens of voices suddenly cried out in utter boredom and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened. Probably regarding CVTs and floating roof lines.

You might want to sandbag some of your puns here buddy, I bet some folks are gonna get fired up over this.

120 month 0% financing?  Will it work on a Lambo?  Asking for a friend.

Those mega churches probably want to keep the papertrail how much they make to a minimum. 

Concerning the fight between Russia and Saudi Arabia, my wish is that they both lose.

2020 can fuck off already. 

Why do you think he needs to hold services? Collections are essential to maintain the lifestyle that God, in his infinite wisdom, has ordained he have. Luxury homes, autos and private jets don’t just fall off trees!

“Dude’s working overtime to cast himself as a martyr.”

A thief jimmies the door and breaks in. He bends down to start working on the ignition - and doesn’t notice that the air is growing occluded. He coughs a bit. Then a bit more. He smells metal. Then he coughs up blood. He sits up. The air is thick now - rusty dust has filled the cabin and he can’t even see out the…