Best article on Jez in some time. Terrifying, fascinating, and hopeful all in one package.

Maddie is great and I truly believe she deserves all her success.

Yeah, you don’t wanna go Full Monty.

How can one person go wrong in so many ways in such a short sentence structure???

The wax self looks like a cross between Kendall and Kourtney, and the real self looks like Paris Hilton has dressed as a Kardashian for Halloween.

I heartily endorse big-hipped women wearing bodycon dresses, in that the last time I wore a bodycon dress, literally every comment from my friends was ‘OMG YOUR CURVES’. Aw yeah. Also, I heartily endorse everyone wearing whatever the fuck they want at all times (unless you are wearing a pelt made from the skins of…

That is when you know you are with a serial killer rapist who doesn't want to leave DNA evidence. This comment is brought to you by the ID channel and law and order svu.

Especially when they are generally pretty hairy except for a neatly shaved bald patch surrounding their weiner. Yikes. That is the least sexy thing ever.

she told Glamour that Julie Bowen knew and was very supportive of her decision.

Good for her! My friend got a breast reduction and she always says it was the best decision she ever made. Plus it was covered by insurance, since for back pain reasons it was considered a medical necessity.

Well then she could sue for the emotional baggage. Personally I think it’s just as wrong to bring an unwanted child into the world. The emotional baggage is borne by the child, the parents, and the siblings. Tired of tiptoeing around pro- life values. Abortion is a totally rational choice in this instance.

It’s a pretty epic fuckup but she could’ve had an abortion. Selective yet rigid adherence to certain religious beliefs is why she is in this predicament now. Just saying. The church is against birth control too, ain’t it?

Yeah, I missed the rent part, and was still thinking that 300/week was high. This means that his allowance plus rent is significantly higher than my income. AND IT WAS THE REDUCED AMOUNT THAT HE MURDERED OVER.

Nah, more Hansel:

“It was the first time in his life he didn’t have pressure.”

Being a stock photo model has to be a reputation-ruining gig. Your picture usually ends up slapped all over articles about STDs, horrific crimes, and other things, usually without any obvious labeling.

Sometimes I think it might be nice to be in jail. Time to work out, TV, naps, lots of time to read, I could finally get that law degree I’ve been considering on and off for years, and it seems (from OITNB) that there is a lot of laughing and a real sense of sisterhood. Also you could raise of one of those prison…

[shoots dad in face]

Yeah, his dad sounds like a real hypercritical jerk, what with him giving his grown son an allowance so the overgrown brat can flit about the Hamptons surfing and taking yoga classes in between ordering his mother to go fetch him a sandwich. I’m just having the hardest time understanding WHY he was a loner. Who…

If he is delusional enough to “really think he’s in an up-scale rehab” then he has very real mental issues. I doubt it though. Entitled, trying to get what he can.