Reminds me of...

so that's why he lead with the crown of his head?

Clausen getting speared in the head may put the Bears offense in a real pickle.

...

In Green's defense, it can be difficult to keep one's shit together while waiting for curry to pass.

Cut him and pick up one of the several really good QBs that are just sitting there waiting for a job.

Even if Locust Grove goes on to win the title, who cares? We won't hear from them again for another 17 years.

You sure can tell she wasn't an English teacher.

Roger Goodell Doesn't Know What's Going On

Newton's injury isn't expected to leave any lasting damage, and can't be exacerbated by activity, but he won't play until it's not excruciatingly painful to do so.

Haha. "butt".

Authorities say the couple was discussing marriage and began arguing over whether she should take his name.

Sure the professor can take that $4 refund, but a little while later he's just going to want more.

Interviewer: "You know, that guy who was held prisoner in a desolate hellhole for over 20 years..."

I can't believe Bernier had no clue who Nelson Mandela was. At this point, who hasn't seen Shawshank or The Dark Knight?

On the other hand, because NCAA rules allow bowl participants to receive up to $550 in gifts, all the players at the Detroit game get a free house.

He was definitely the right man in the right Laplace at the right time.

His contribution to touchdown dances will go down as Legendre.

Yeah, their bite is so filled with bacteria and venom that they literally haven't identified all the ways it will kill you yet. They're discovering new species bacteria in a Komodo Dragon's mouth.