Notre Dame players were left with just fil-A, however, as their Chick mysteriously never showed up.

I cant imagine why CBS announcers would have a vested interest in the SEC.

They failed to account for the substitution effect?

Teams are probably having trouble finding him.

Fortunately, Cutler is immune to criticism. Unlike his kids, who aren't immune to a goddamn thing.

But hey - I'm just a guy who can't evolve, right?

"They get to win, too?!?"

"Go fuck yourself."

They actually have a lot in common. Both of them are well-versed at inflicting three minutes of sheer hell.

I always knew Floyd Mayweather beat women.

[frantically deletes draft for this Saturday]

Please don't ever put poop on a dollar. For any reason.

Yes. Hence the dick-shitting.

Too late, I sampled Cincinnati Chili yesterday.

+1, or the kick in the balls

Poor fool. No matter how much pumpkin he puts in, when the clock strikes midnight, it's just going to turn back into a bowl of hot diarrhea.

Seattle should have known the Coyotes' plot would be foiled again when they saw the Acme logo on the side of the trucks.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯