Does winner get to choose? I mean can you take him to a gay bar, a salsa night or a Rihanna concert? A mix if those? Possibilities are endless, fuck I want to win the shit out of this raffle!

ground beef is the According to Jim of taco proteins.

The best part is when the cop shoves her when she goes to pick it up.

#USC QB Cody Kessler reluctant to take a shit here at Pac-12 Media Days in front of reporters. Gotta think that's symbolic. He doesn't want to step on our toes while we do that figuratively.

The Japanese Air Force will never be our reliable ally in the Pacific Rim.

Pictured: Alabama's 2014 schedule

When you're that rich, you only iron as a hobby.

I rope off my 97 saturn. So what?

Politically-correct fascists is nonsense used by dummies to justify their shitty behavior.

That's the biggest damn basement I've ever seen.

FWIW, I tried to find this without the cake.

Fuck Republicans

Sculptor: [Sets out to build Mount Rusmore of Specious Analogy]

At least she's not completely crazy. She got the hundreds of thousands killed in the Holocaust right.

They're shaped like that for better vision...

It's like God said, "Fuck, I made it too cute. Better give it Horror Eyes"

Thanks a lot.

Lord, today I ask that you bathe those who live in pain in the river of your healing. I'd let you use my bathtub, but it's still covered in yellow tape from that time I shot my girlfriend in the chest.

Still pretty brilliant.