I don’t understand Twizzlers. They feel like I’m trying to eat the wax on a candy soda bottle, get stuck between my teeth, and taste like someone whispering “strawberries” from across the street.

She is correct though. At peak freshness the Butterfinger is a thing of beauty. The problem is that 80% of the Butterfingers I have eaten seem to be past this point. 

I came in here expecting to aggressively disagree but... Yeah, you’re pretty much right. (I do think Twizzlers are better than Red Vines, but in my heart of hearts I know they’re not... Good. Especially when stale, which they usually are.)

Hold on. Your local Humane Society: yes! The Humane Society of the United States: NO! The HSUS has nothing to do with animal rescue, they are just a bunch of greasy frauds that want you to think there is an affiliation with animal shelters.

Just a reminder that PETA is a terrible group anyways.

Because they are physically incapable of reciprocating.  If they invite you to an event, they will expect their guests to adhere to their personal diet.  If you invite them to an event, they will still expect their host to accommodate their personal diet.

Though I have no problem with Vegans, I do have a problem when they sneak up on you and invite you to a dinner party and only tell you they are Vegan after you take your coat off.

Terrorists traditionally have no sense of humor.

I was looking at the nutritional info for the Impossible and Beyond burgers the other day, and they both seem to have a bunch of added junk you don’t need. But the Impossible burger is at least more reasonable in the fat and iron levels, although they both have around 400 mg of sodium. I’m not sure what the point is…

Is it me or was that a stage of skinheads?

Damnit this is what happens when you lose your Chief of Staff, didn’t ANYONE think to buy him a toy so he wouldn’t pout today? Someone better head up Independence Ave and get that Fucker a Snickers McFlurry now

The special funnel you need comes with the car and is stashed away with the spare tire and jack. I don’t know how it works because I didn’t notice any special notch or design on the funnel, but you can poke your finger in the filler neck and it won’t open. Put this funnel in and it opens right up. I only used mine…

My Volvo V60 has a button that causes the rear headrests to fold down quite violently. I can count the number of times I’ve used it for it’s intended purpose on one hand. The number of times I’ve used it to smack my passengers in the back of the head though.....

Why is your gun in someone else's car?

2012 Ford Focus Hatchback. If the wipers were on and you put the car in reverse, it would automatically turn on the rear window wiper. I rarely used the rear wiper so I left it off most of the time, but I did like this feature.

On my BMW, left and right arrows on my dash... I am not sure what those are for.... 

Those old small trucks will ALL be collector items one day. In fact if i see a Datsun or an older Nissan around i just might snag one.

Only problem is that “those people” are generic. There’s millions of bros. And they haven’t an original bone in their bodies.

But Truck Bros are going to Bro no matter what: almost all of the hardest core Brodozer staples are aftermarket anyway, so why do us non-Bro folks have to be stuck with Broesque trucks that the real Bros are going to change for aftermarket later?

Actually, this gives me an idea: an accessory and appearance company that…

SUVs are still too low.