Like Ride in a goddamn M-1 Abrams tank? Because that always helps with the polling.

My favorite ESPN Sportscenter HR calls was Kenny Mayne’s from 1998 Sammy Sosa Home Run:

You sir, obviously have no TWTW.

RE: These God awful John sterling Home run calls:

I got your back...CUE THE FUCKING SHIRT!

He hasn’t gotten to the Vikings yet... I imagine he will include it.

I hate myself for chuckling at that. Take your damn star, sir. And have a rimjobshot.

Agreed. But the fact that he will have to look Akiem Hicks in the eye every fucking down will probably turn him to Robert Hayes in Airplane.

Fuck Mercury Morris with Jay Cutler’s helmet lined with coarse grade sandpaper.

I’m sure some industrious internet animator will make a hentai-like feature out of this.

counterpoint:

Once I started getting a significant amount of gray hair, I stopped growing it out long.

“And you left out a soccer #10 on your list of assholes in sports. These are the guys who exist to flashily assist and flashily score. Yeah, they’re the worst.”

When it comes to LUST:

I so want a reboot of Arli$$, just to see him deal with modern Social Media and guys like Stephen A. Smith and Max Kellerman.

Snark, combined with a cynical, curmudgeon point of view never go out of style.

Or Charles Barkley’s golf swing.

That was rather callus, but you nailed it.  +1

“If you can imagine a gigantic steak in a too-tight denim jacket saying, “I’ve been hearing a lot of dark web chatter,” before pummeling some guy this way till Tuesday,”