In a related story, Johnny Knox said he would “bend over Backwards” if he could resume his career.

The REAL showstopper

I need a break from these really bad puns. I know it’s an itch some people have to scratch, but come on....

Or as one person said when informed about Matt Lauer’s desk-mounted door locking button:

I hear zip lines are fun...

St. Louis Cardinal fans are much higher up on the asshat food chain than Patriots fans.

“Would you say “You’re hot” to your sister?”

“There are plenty of people I might think are hot [or winsome, or lovely, or cute, etc], who I don’t necessarily [or even optimally] want to fuck.”

Or Juju Smith-Schuster, so they be awed by whatever TD celebration he comes up with.

Hell, that’s Chicago sports Radio every freaking day...between the Bears and Bulls, it’s a double whammy of meatball fan mumbling...or incoherent ranting.

And members of Titty Kissin Trubisky.

It’s the same old shit.

I do not care which mascot wins, as long as these guys are doing the announcing!

Not sure what is more amusing about budget Michael Hayes of the Freebirds here; the knee-high boots, or the fact he has his gloves hanging from his belt.

LARPing Fruit ninjas

I am a beholder of your Fucking brilliance! Take your +1 stat boost to your comment, you Magnificent Bastard.

“Running through a wooden post while rocking the latest fashions from Tactical Dad Menswear? Me.”

“I would rather fart every time I orgasm. Hell, I probably do that already anyway. I let it all out, like a balloon that’s been pricked in nine different places. Really pairs well with whatever look is on my face at the time.”

Can they pick a song from O.M.D.??

Came here expecting this thread to somehow find a way to Bash Trump.