Heidi, girl, are you ok? Blink twice if you need help because ain't no way you're married to that blobfish voluntarily.

WOULD U

The only reason I don’t believe it is because he is so absolutely repulsive and I haven’t met one women (Republican or otherwise) who didn’t feel that way. Also the women they claim slept with him are all so much more attractive than him. Like he’s a 0.5 and they’re all 7+. Power and intellect can only get you so far…

I feel terrible for Heidi Cruz. I want to help her and her daughters flee the country and live in, like, a teeny village in Europe under assumed names.

i believe him, simply because other women wanting to sleep with ted cruz is just

“The only true wealth is when you don’t think about wealth.”

They remind me of the badass desert women from Madmax. Moms are cool, mine taught me how to drive a manual.

I just donated to UNICEF. Here’s the link if anyone else would like to.

Jill should’ve cast Candis Cayne in the role, not Caitlyn. Candis is actually an actress and was wonderful in Dirty, Sexy, Money.

I really don’t understand sitting to wipe. Do you really want to stick your hand in the toilet bowl? Most are not cleaned very often (most people just pour some of that blue shit in the toilet and call it a day) and people probably pee all over the undersides of the seat. No thanks, I’ll stand and wipe like a real…

I actually can't even picture how you wipe your ass while sitting. Like, I reach my hand pretty much into the toilet bowl under my balls? What if I took an enormous shit that is peaking above the water? Why would anyone risk that? I wasn't even aware sitting to wipe was a thing people did. What the actual fuck.

Wipe while sitting down? How the fuck do you wipe while sitting down? You mean crouching? I think this whole thing is based off of how people interpret the phrase “sitting down.” If you were actually still sitting on the rim of the toilet it’s impossible to get into dat ass to wipe. I selected “while standing up” but…

White men seem to be really threatened by the fact that some of the Kardashian/Jenner clan seem to be primarily attracted to black men.

Yes, dismissing a PR employee who had nothing to do with localizing games. Brilliant.

It’s very telling that Neo Nazis and racists are supporters of the Gamergate agenda.

I vividly remember those hearings. As a lifelong Democrat I can tell you: everyone on that committee looked like a bumbling idiot. There were no heroes among the Democrats when Anita Hill testified. And I’m not at all surprised that Biden’s people tried to rearrange the facts, given that he was still contemplating a…

“HBO made this movie in an election year to support Hillary Clinton and the Democratic Party, which loves to claim that a mythical ‘war on women’ is underway by Republicans,” said Mark Paoletta.

“Anita Hill looks good; Clarence Thomas looks bad; and the rest of us look like bumbling idiots.”