Pats Fans at 7AM: Those texts weren’t that threatening! It was hyperbole! What’s the big deal?

is that Kaepernick himself has already profited from the very same move Jay-Z is using now.

I can’t remember who coined it but it was definitely a writer who referred to him as a “spray tanned hernia” That’s still a keeper although I hope to one day soon get to refer to Trump as “our big dead president”

In other Washington news, the White House has made a job offer to Benito Mussolini, hoping to leverage his experience overcoming syphilitic dementia. 

When you miss a 50/50 ball because you know anything but a devastating shot will get roasted, is that an “unforced error”?

Now all the Knicks need to do is travel back in time to the year 2000, sign Shaq, and make the NBA outlaw zone defenses again.

So it’s not that the doctors actually “ruled out” an Achilles injury, just that it was never mentioned at all one way or another - in the same way that they didn’t discuss the odds of a stroke or dislocated shoulder.

Literally this dude is a big dumb idiot that shits on everything he wants and fucks everything he can get his hands on, and has always been given a pass because he was a rich white dude. That is THE DREAM for his base. They all want to be him, desperately, and they’re happy to see him shit on and fuck everything in…

I live one county to the west of Cleveland and about 30 minutes from dowtown. What is this strange odd feeling that I’m experiencing? It sort of feels like very confused optimism. Oh wait, it’s gone.

Way to fuck up the Browns draft position, Mayfield.

Does anyone actually watch the Citi Open?

The tournament schedule didn’t cause his match to start around midnight, so much as

“And by the end of the year, we’re all going to want to eat Bullets.”

Don’t selfishly turn me into political propaganda, complains the guy beaming in photo ops with a brutal autocrat.

The Aristocrats!

“It’s not over yet. We still have a chance to come back and win it all.”

You’re completely ignoring context.

They are a testament to what public schools can produce if students have support at home and in well-funded schools.

Here’s to hoping neither number gets any higher.