Hey Kate...is a leaky corpse a sandwich?

This is my favorite genre of article on these Former Gawker blogs. This fits in nicely with the Best Restaurant in New Yorks and the one about Applebee’s all you can eat whatever. So i’m looking forward to reading more about you exploring your new neighborhood.

The first summer out of high school, I worked as a groom in a stable. There were only a dozen horses, but a dozen horses can put you through quite a workout when you’re by yourself. In the interview, the owner said, “You may have to ride up to five hours a day,” which sounded FAB to me. I didn’t realize I’d have to…

My mum works as a law librarian for a government department. Over a school break when I was...14? I think...she desperately needed help doing some filing. So I went into her work with her. Half way through I decided to start reading the files - that was the day I discovered she worked primarily on immigration and…

dropped out of school, and worked in a pizza shop. That was pretty cool. Then I went to Alaska with a couple friends. The trip was really cool, we bought an old car and drove from the East coast.

Working for my dad, a masonry contractor, as a masonry assistant, or “helper,” which meant I mixed up the mortar, set up and loaded the scaffolds, loaded and unloaded equipment, kept the masons supplied with bricks and mortar, etc. In Texas. In the summer. So working for a family member, at a labor-intensive job, in a…

I have horrible memories of working in a milk bottling factory one summer as a teenager. Hours screwing caps onto bottles; pushing carts, empty and full, up and down the factory; loading and emptying trucks. All in a half inch of watered down milk, the building built on a slight slope so that everything washes away.…

Summer after Senior year in high school, I worked at a Renaissance Fair in the south. I operated the Dragon Ride, where folks would climb up to a tall platform and climb aboard a wooden dragon on a rope, kind of like a zip line only the dragon sat on the rope with wheels and the person sat on the dragon. I…

Lab assistant at the UW Dept of Pharmacology. This was also my first job at like 18. My buddy’s Mom was head of the Dept and needed help for the summer for a backlog of tasks they didn’t have the manpower for when school was out over the summer.

Cause there isn’t garbage and broken glass all over the sidewalks? Its literally just pavement.

I started up an online relationship with an unrequited love from college while I was living in New Zealand and he was living in LA. We had never kissed or been together at that point, but it was intense and passionate only in the way a long distance relationship can be. Lots of build up. What could go wrong? He bought…

I won’t even travel across a king size bed for sex. You roll to me. 

LA to London, and I suppose most of the EU. A few years ago, on Facebook, I had reconnected with an old friend I’d had a brief fling with in college. She ended up divorced in the UK, having emigrated for her now-ex.

I, a midwesterner, purchased a lovely Eddie Bauer parka this winter. 

I know, European films have a different pace, much more languorous than your typical American short-attention-span offerings.

Dear incels, we are not interested in dinosaur egg-sized testicles. What the FUCK ever gave you that idea???

Here to say A) Yes, good. Burnout is real. And B) Thanks for the work you do, Lauren and all the Jez crew... your work makes our work more bearable. Wishing you some nice paid time off and a minimum 10% raise this coming fiscal year!

Example: I asked my very rigid boss if I could leave an hour early for a doctor’s appointment. She told me to take an hour of sick time along with a reminder that the work day is 9-5. Okay then. A few weeks later, she asked me an urgent question on Saturday of a three day weekend. I responded to her first thing…

And fact-checkers.

Clive, ily, but barring death I don’t see how that birth could’ve been worse.