No, I'd still tip him 20%, honestly. I'd also make damn sure he knew who I was at the end of the meal. That would be such a better karmic reward than screwing him on a tip.

Laura's employer sounds like a great place to work.

In other news, it sounds like Brian got a little of Laura to go. Just ... not the part that he wanted. OOPS.

Fucks given - 0

Hot Dish sounds like the name a two year old would come up with for their "experimental cooking" of burnt macaroni topped with glue.

I have all y'all motherfuckers beat, because of my SECRET WEAPON: Multiple infections of Clostridium difficile. I have so many poop stories, you guys.

C. diff, for those of you who are (happily!) uninitiated, is a bacterial infection that causes you to shit, unpredictably and uncontrollably, a liquid that looks like…

It was extremely traumatic, but what doesn't kill you gives you velour pants with Mickeys on the butt? I still wear them as pjs.

I'm crying. I'm laughing so hard I'm crying. Oh god poor you but oh my god I can't stop laughing.

I work with people with developmental disabilities and consequently have a lot of poop stories. Here's one of my better and less disgusting ones:

I think I can win this.

Yes, they are totally different.

Uh...isn't fondant an entirely separate thing from frosting? Isn't fondant a solid and frosting is...not exactly?

The cat shortly after the rescue.

It's even funnier in that the monkey seems to be struggling to try to pull the dog in a particular direction and then gets fed up with the dog's resistance and smacks him! Such a brat!

Did you feel all Jesusy inside?

Look, I've drank something I wasn't supposed to, to be honest.

Uuummm.... I really wanna squee, But, I think that monkey got a weapon at the end. I know it was a yard light, but it was sharp. That dog is either going to be his obedient horse, or die.

Oh come on, don't act like bread soaked in bacon grease wouldn't be amazing (in moderation).