Well the Fox News topic of the week is all set.

This is correct - America the beautiful if you want a song to start the game. Take me out to the ballgame in the 7th.

“America the Beautiful” is about a thousand times better than “God Bless America”.

Tamales, my friend. The tamale guy saved my life more than a few times.

Announcer: SANTA MARIA!!!

I love the subtlety of spelling Giannis’s last name incorrectly in different ways throughout the article. Well done.

Izzo: “What the fuck are you doing! You’re plodding around out there like fucking Frankenstein!”

Man, my boss pulls that shit and it’s not worth it for even our (pretty good) salaries. Then again, we’re only getting paid in dollars, not an invaluable Michigan State education and the privilege of being a College Athlete. 

It would truly be a Drewmas miracle if someone pulled me out of the grays where I have languished for an eternity

Fun fact: “The Touching is, To Me, Off Limits,” was the original title of MC Hammer’s 1990 breakthrough single. 

Obligatory:

In this case, “unsportsmanlike conduct” is cover for “Dude, we can’t afford to replace that ball, and we only have this stadium until 7pm!”

Honestly, the team at Anheuser-Busch probably had zero idea that this was going on or that anyone was uncomfortable. Obviously someone on the client side was reviewing the auditions of the final selects prior to confirming talent. However, they hire a production company who hires the director and casting directors,…

Seems like something that might make a boring newscast less boring to non old non assholes

Can we get Hard Knocks there again for the upcoming year?

Seriously, that’s the most saccharine thing that’s ever been written at Deadspin, and also by far the most frightening. Get well Drew.

This is what middle managers think smart people sound like.

clevelander here - we’ve had our once nice thing in a lifetime. we’ll go back to being cleveland sports now. don’t worry. he won’t land here

does it seem odd that Cleveland very well may end up with the next LeBron