Somewhere, Don Cheadle perks up.

Robin Williams is dead, so I guess he can't make a Tom Bombadil movie now.

You'd think they'd learn the lesson that the best movie was the one with zero Tattooine.

I don't think Harrison Ford would show up for just a cameo.

What are the sticky-outy bits on that lightsaber for, other than stabbing yourself in your own groin?

In the unlikely event that this ever gets made, will Edward J. Olmos be in it?

You mean like "Pete's Dragon"?

I stayed for Saturn 3, too. Truly terrible.

In 1980 people bought tickets to Saturn 3 just to see the Empire Strikes Back trailer.

…and then a Fox executive hands him a check, and he smiles at the camera and says "It's great! Go see it again, children!"

I think you are right. Except the last few seconds will just be Luke mostly in shadow saying something about the force , SNAPPING ON HIS LIGHTSABER. . . then the title card.

I always pictured Michael McKean as Britta's dad.

My god, my god, what have we done to deserve this?

Alias Smith and Jones was good.

I would watch A Fistful of Draculas.

"You see, in this version of Star Wars, Darth Vader's name is Steve. And he's a programmer, not an evil dark lord. He'll be played by Paul Giamatti! Oh, and no mask. He will have asthma, though. We're very excited about this new take on this science fiction classic!"

Nuclear facilities would quit running or fail if they weren't manned.

Why didn't he rape people? We saw him start to rape Beth and get interrupted by the zombie. This was just a couple of minutes after talking about how he should have owned the other woman.

Coercive non-consensual sex is the very definition of rape, dude.

Yeah, except for the slavery and the raping, everything was pretty cool.