fuck California. seriously. I left for a reason. I am so damn tired of hearing how great it is and what a liberal utopia it is when a shitty little crap box is 2 grand and more. I’ll take my boring midwestern city and my 700 dollar two bedroom, thanks.

Just FYI, this is really close (within walking distance) to Santana Row, which is essentially a strip mall for the very, very rich. There’s a potential to make a lot of money there, but first gotta get those pesky poors out of the way. The apartments are in a good neighborhood with a solid school district. My guess…

Hahahaha. Obviously this is awful. Cheating is bad. But her lack of remorse is just too much! She just doesn’t give a shit.

be hot and make them think they’re sexy and fun and witty. they pay a fuck ton of money to be lied to.

someone teach me a way to scam rich white men. like robin hood but i am also the poor i am robbing for.

that link to cancer is tenuous...so, you are probably fine.

As a twice-a-week shampooer, I use dry shampoo sometimes. But sparingly and only on my bangs. I’ve found using a brush to “distribute” the oil through my hair down to the ends on that last day before shampooing works just as well. Yes, I realize how gross that sounds, but as someone with long, courser hair, I can’t…

most baby powders are made with corn starch now, not talc. check the list of ingredients before tossing it.

“I never intended to to be a philosopher, or a theologian,” he wrote. “The only role I sought was that of witness.”

Oh dear lord! So was Vanessa Paradis holding him together and now he’s unravelling, or what is going on here?

She bugs, her book bugged, she never stops bugging!! God, Julia Roberts has never been more perfectly cast. Dear Ones my ass.

Because I have shared details of my private life with you all so intimately over the years, I feel the need to share with you this recent change in my personal life I know you’ll all line up for my next tell-all feel-good book and, hopefully, film project. Fingers crossed!!

I would skip all the other sections and go straight for revenge. YEAH, GREAT, YOU LIVE IN AN ASHRAM, WHATEVER but NOW tell me about setting all of his sneakers on fire in a bathtub.

Love is dead. On a side note, I still want to go to Bali - with Javier Bardem.

i don’t know why but this comment made me literally laugh out loud and now i can’t stop

its important to note, while watching the clip, how much larger bardem’s head is than julia’s

That’s one of the ugliest fucking houses I’ve ever seen. Why do people with money consistently have horrible taste?

I’ve committed to going “full” Dame Judi Dench when I’m sixty. Silver pixie, perfect makeup and flattering sheaths and tunics. I will now add a tattoo to that list.

I hope I’m that cool when I’m 81.