My husband and I got a complete meal for free once at...Applebees or Chilies, I forget which. We’d gotten a gift card for Xmas, so we went out a few days later. They were slammed, and our waiter forgot about us and clocked out. We waited for about 20 minutes. We were afraid to leave because we already had drinks, and…

Note: I do not want poop stories. Please stop sending me poop stories. Although if you really want to submit them somewhere, you can send them to mark.shrayber@jezebel.com.

The last two times we've gone out we've been comped drinks and food for simply not being assholes. Both times the server was slammed and we didn't make a fuss. It makes you wonder how badly other people were acting.

Two five year olds looking at each other’s wee wees are “Playing Doctor”. A 15 year old adolescent molesting a five year old is not. Never mind that there were multiple victims, multiple occasions over several years, and often the victims were originally asleep, so they weren’t ‘playing’ anything.

I always feel for fast food workers who get slammed with giant orders like that. Back in college I and my friends use to hit up the local Arby’s for their “five for five dollars” deal and buy 20 or 30 sandwiches at a time. We tended to have plenty of time and always made it clear that we were in no rush so they should…

In my own life I’ve noticed a direct correlation between being polite repeat customers who tip well and the servers not charging (within reason) for refills that normally cost extra.

There’s a story that goes around in my family of a woman my mother went to school with who was working at Glasgow’s Royal Infirmary back in the seventies and eighties. Back in the later years of the 1970s, she was out one night with her pals and this young American guy comes sidling up to her. Young American…

Shouldn't it be called pastrameat, then?

I can confirm what is already well documented: Jeremy Piven is a complete asshole. Dude totally lost it, SCREAMING at me in a tiny Studio City parking lot because I couldn’t go anywhere while a little old granny in front of me took two hours to back her car out of her parking spot. He. Was. MEAN. Surprised he didn’t…

While not a douche, my celebrity encounter was alright. James Spader from the BlackList was in a tiny little pub in Noank Connecticut, my boyfriend was actually doing some work on his yacht, James Taylor’s too but I digress. The whole restaurant was trying to be so school and not bother him, so as soon as he left, I…

I met Robert Englund one time while waiting for an elevator at a comic convention. The man is a god dammed saint. Chatted with me for so long that he was 14 minutes late to a panel and closed our talk with “Dude if you want like an autographed picture or something just email the people that run my site and we’ll hook…

I don’t have a lot of celebrity encounter stories, but my awesome mom sure as shit does! In the 70’s she worked for a film production company in LA that made mostly B movies.

I met John Goodman one night in New Orleans. I was outside waiting to get into a concert. He walked by with his date, and I just said Hi to him. He was really cool, and said hey are you going to this show? He told security I was with him. We walked into this VIP area, he said have a good night and disappeared. I had…

Oh man, Comic Con is awesome for meeting people. My brother got Mark Hamil’s autograph, and he was awesome. Now, I’m under the impression that Mr. Hamil is courteous to all of his fans when they come up with Star Wars paraphernalia for him to sign. My brother brought his DVDs of Batman: The Animated Series, for which…

I haven’t had any notable encounters to speak of, but this was just kind of adorable. I was working at a health food store in Miami and Ziggy Marley came in with his toddler-aged son. I was standing on a stepstool in order to stir a gigantic bowl of soup I was making for the deli, and his son very loudly said, “What’s…

My child—age 18 months-ish—accosted Justin Hartley (Green Arrow/Oliver Queen from Smallville at that time of this story) in the host hotel lobby at SDCC. He was awesome.

Re: the Method Man story, I get it, he has religious reasons for freaking out BUT I am going to say ‘Why you comin at me with them pork ass hands!?’ s CONSTANTLY. In response to EVERYTHING EVER.

My best worst story isn’t that great. I used to work at a stage venue, and Zach Braff came once, and put his feet up on my stage manager’s desk. I had to lean over him to do the “Show Starting” light cue. And on his shoes was written “Zach” on the left shoe and “Braff” on the right. Like he’d forget his own name.

Maybe America should rethink it’s obsession with a creepy cult of overbreeders who have so many children that the youngest are raised by their siblings instead of their parents, they basically have to repeat names, and they brainwash them all into a sexually-repressive shame cycle?

As a trans woman I just enjoyed being continually being called a predator and a molester by Michelle Duggar with hardly one bit of evidence other than her say-so. At times, I just have to wonder why Americans allow such bigoted and dangerous people into their lives and on their TVs. How much fear and violence do I…