It would appear that Obama must continue to play the “Magical Negro” role until white liberals are satisfied with his overall performance.

He only had the most stressful job in the fucking world for eight fucking years. He’s a fucking private fucking citizen and can do whatever the fuck he wants.

Well, it looks like he was the one...

For whatever reason, it won’t let me reply to the actual article, just to Barry. I’m gonna be livin that grey life either way so...

“what about a gay fish instead?” - Kanye West

On the other hand, I feel like my perfect spouse wouldn’t demand that I fuck a goat quarterly. Previously, I had never thought to put “doesn’t expect me to fuck farm animals” on my imaginary requirements for fantasy husbands, an oversight I shall shortly rectify...

I had a pet goat named Florence. She had a nice personality

Black Mirror flashback.

iOS is slick and stable, but ugly as sin. Rigid, regimented blocks that look like they were designed for five year olds and the elderly.

Me turning into a sheep.

I recently took the plunge and switched from iOS to Android.

What’s next?

If it was an iphone, it was already broken.

I don’t want to see the Olympics at all