I don’t think your wife is uber-vanilla if she’s willing to peg you. 

Thank you for this, I have spent all morning looking for a website to tell me who won last night’s game.

Your reply is addressed approximately 3 lines above my (infallibly correct) Steely Dan take. 

God, I fucking hate Steely Dan!

Man, I love people who self-own through being hilariously inept. You know, pumpkin thieves, thin-skinned vulture capitalist owners of blog sites, those kinds of folks.

A Red Sox fan criticizing another team’s fanbase would be like if Arby’s started doing restaurant reviews.

Some thoughts:

So I am speaking from long experience when I say that the Washington bandwagon is very likely to be the most insufferable one ever to come rolling down the pike.

+getting a brain

Rob Drake, cival war advocate, and friend of the morans.

they had kolber interviewing namath on the sideline the other week & I couldn't believe it

+2 pages stuck together

This is more embarrassing than my unintentional smear campaign against Sports Illustrated when Kathy Ireland was on the cover.

This was neither fun nor did it come in a bag form.  

It was cold last night. That makes a big difference in how far a ball carries.

I am NOT saying "Boo-urns"

Being the browns from a few years ago implies you’re only a few years away from starting the season 2-4 and frankly that’s a pretty high bar to clear at this point

Cracklin’ Oat Bran! Do they not ask to see your AARP card at the register in your town?