Caity Weaver gets to feel Kim K’s bewbz.

Yep, he’s the cool dude who just wants to be chill. And she’s the intense, marriage obsessed chick totally in love with him.

This is the most respect I ever had for her.

NO

Ha, the breakup narrative was so flattering to him. He loved her but he just wasn’t in love with her, you know? She was desperately in love with him and wanted to get married but he so wasn’t feeling that. So, much respect! She’s probably just not a very sexual person.

Man moves on from a relationship —> Good for you kiddo for getting back on the horse.

Woman moves on from a relationship —> You betraying she-beast!

I don’t either. It sounds like she laid out exactly what she wanted in a relationship (marriage, babies, picket fence) and after 15 months he still wasn’t on board. She jumped ship and was rescued by the HMS Hiddles.

He looks like he would be so amazing to platonic (not platonic) cuddle with. **Swoons**

OH MY GOD. Reading fail. I stopped reading at Paris, and assumed it was Paris Hilton.

Don’t worry, he has a vaguely latino last name.

If you’re on twitter, come to #twinja where nobody is grey and the sky remains cloudless all day.

True story: my 70-year-old father (well, he was a couple of years younger at the time) saw MGMT in concert and hated them. When he told me, I was so flabbergasted I couldn’t speak for a second, and then I said “WHY did you see MGMT?” Turns out they were playing and he was bored, so he went to check them out. I mean,…

Of course Leo is bad in bed. Did anyone ever have any doubt? I mean, since he was a teenager, he has had tons of young models clamoring to take a ride, he doesn’t have to extend effort and never will. He’ll be Jack Nicholson’s age, and still pull it out, crook his finger, say “climb on, honey” and some 22 year old…

100% believe Leo is shit in bed. When in his life did he ever have to even fucking try?

For real. I grew up on the west coast and just said (in the greys, where I expect to be until my eventual death) we need to change our “Welcome to Florida” highway signs with something more along the lines of “Everything in Florida will try to kill you. Enjoy your stay.”

And if you can’t buy a Chanel bag, buy Beanie Babies!

Acting in self defense of what? The girlfriend he didn’t even check to see if she was in bed, before shooting into adjoining the bathroom at a random noise?

u r a dummie.

Sometimes it’s even easier to get than birth control! (Like literally the pill)