Ummmm—Ilsa, She-Wolf of the SS was pretty hot, man.

It also confirmed that I am not gay for guys in generic Rawlings batting helmets.

I had an uncle who called his wife "Sister." I knew her till she was over eighty and have no idea what her real name was. Of course, my first grade teacher's real name was Lady, so Sister's name could have been Sister.

We are bound for Singapore! No, wait, bound for Dublin! No. Hold on here….

STOP CALLING IT "CHILLING"!!

There's a good reason for strict gun laws in England. Why bother shooting four people if they all survive?

We named a dog after a friend of ours. Now we call the dog Teddy and the man Mr. Johnson.

When he died, he was drinking chardonnay, and there was a fly in it.

Not Barron! Or—you know—the one that's not as sexy as Ivanka!

Nu-metal? How about it?

Jeffrey Lord has something to say to you!!

After all these comments about what stores your area has and what you call soft drinks, I need to ask what cashiers call you when they're trying to be polite. Around here (Eastern Kentucky), it's "hon" till you get to a certain age, at which point you become "honey" (said with a downward intonation denoting pity).

I thought she had done "What If Cod Was One of Us," but that was another lady singing about fish.

When I heard that Mara Rooney ate "an entire pie in one sitting" in a movie, I was like, "And?"

That apostrophe-s is FALSE!

I can dig it.

Depends on your Aldi. Ours is great.

Who mocks Andy Griffith??!

"He's definitely a common-man president."
—Iowa man on yesterday's All Things Considered

He's got that mouth-not-quite-big-enough-to-cover-teeth thing figured out.