Burn down the school!!

I spent half of grad school (in English) saying "fuckit" and replacing "necessary" with "needed."

My first word was canteen. I spelled it correctly, but the judge was preoccupied. "I'm sorry," he said. "Would you do that again?" So I did—angrily—and did not pause long enough between the Es—it came out as "c-a-n-t-e-n." "You're excused," he said. A teacher and two other contestants vouched for me, but he was judge…

It has an e after the dg??! That shows poor judgement.

-tucky is a multipurpose suffix (like-gate and <,I>ghazi and fefe. It denotes "high per capita proportion of mountain folk who are not going to put up with your shit for a minute." Cf. Ypsitucky.
Where do I live? In Kentuckytucky.

I thought that rhyming it with "pieces" was sort of a giveaway.

Johnny Appleseed was Swedenborgian. So was William Blake.

God bless them!

At least you don't have to look at them.

C-SPAN disappeared from my shitty little town-owned cable system about a month ago. Nothing's happening in politics, is it?

Motherfuckers can fund their own fucking documentary. Fuck them!

This may be the best feature on this site right now.

We have a wealth of Should'ves. But Mitch is Should've-est.

The Rotters no longer wish Stevie Nicks to sit on their face.

Wow. I live in Kentucky, and I heard nothing about Senator Bunning's demise.

Why do you want me to block you?

For snu-snu.

I was so jealous when the girls were all taken to hear a special lecture back in sixth grade. We boys were left to wonder what the PE lady was talking to them about (we guessed bras). None of the girls would say.

Why are you reading future episode summaries?

It should be "the passiver."