Wulp. Cain't git muhself back on muh feet.

In fact, I tried to, since I got that was what O'Neal was shooting for. Didn't work.

O'Neal put a lot of effort into that. I hope somebody noticed.

Isn't that how you're supposed to shelve your books?

The hell is iHeartRadio?

The fucks were interesting as well. Most of them were of the "Oh fuck," "What the fuck," "Where are my fucking keys" variety. But at least one of them was a good, solid biological term, something like "She was fucking him for a while."

Sorry. That one was gratuitous.

How long is this damned thing?

"an adult yelling at a kid for being too sensitive"

Kirstin: first champ to leave with a negative score. (Boo! Hiss!)

I have stood beneath the magnificent Sunsphere in what I scientifically reckoned to be the wig shop's exact location. I demanded my wife photograph me there.

Eliot is also a poet, so he should have got part credit.

Blahblahblah town commons in Boston blablahblah this opera premiered in 1843 in the opera house I am currently standing in wearing a spangled mask and pantaloons, also spangled, blah blah blah yes he said yes blah blah blah THE ARISTOCRATS!

I am less down on Nil—who was at least trying to get out of the hole—than Crista, who must have realized that Rob was content to sit on a lead that was a little more than double her score. Gotta try something, especially when Nil is -$3000 and no threat to you for second place. I.e., wild guess your way to more than…

Good. That's taken care of.

Just last night I was passing through a room in which my wife was watching TV. There was a commercial for a new service that allows you to text your therapist 24/7 for only $32/week. That would be like a gym membership for me—lots of texts at first, then five years from now wondering why $120 keeps slipping out of my…

How many episodes can that babysitter be dead before mom notices for herself?

Hush. You are undermining the last ten years of Simpsons criticism on this site.

That copy&paste shit is working out real nice, huh?

I have trouble with albums that clock in at 70+ minutes. But one this short, with that interminable thing at #4, is an EP (or maxi-single) waiting to happen.