i was once detained by lieutenant-in-training German Shepherd puppy at the airport. She wanted my chocolate that I had in the bag. Apparently I was the fourth person she had alerted to the police for OMG DRUGS who had chocolate in their bag XD

I smushed a banana in my bag on the train in India, & was the target of a Department of Agriculture officer named Lieutenant Beagle at the Miami airport. Lieutenant Beagle was the cutest thing on 4 legs, & I was very happy to be detained by him multiple times before I left the airport (it was a slow night for illicit…

Better access to guns would've helped, she could've killed them and saved us all a headache knowing that these fucks exist.

And all the people who miiiight acknowledge that her ptsd is real only because she's a veteran, but would otherwise dismiss it because it's "just" from sexual assault and that's disrespectful to people who've seen combat and blah blah. Those are my favorites. The ones who think they get to decide who gets to have ptsd…

Prepare for the influx of dude-defence that will come from a large series of people who would be shitting themselves in anger if this happened to a male veteran.

Ugh, go away.

Yes! There's no generic version, and it counts as a separate form of birth control because of the method of delivery. They cannot make you take generic pills orally because that is a different method of delivery and thus is not considered a replacement.

The US could host within a years notice! How do we stop a corrupt organization?

HE'S SO HAPPY AND PROUD OF HIMSELF! If you have a border collie and don't give them work to do, you are literally denying them the thing that makes them happiest in the world.

I bet it sucked if you got re-captured and sent to a different prison where they play by their own set of house rules. That's so annoying.

Or buy a ticket to a PG movie and then sneak into the R movie like all the generations before you GAH these KIDS

FFS, just go home and watch hardcore porn Fifty Shades on the internet like a normal kid.

He might do better with a lawyer than an arbitrator and protection on behalf of the Union. Nobody loves the NFL as a Company or the Owners as a group. A good lawyer would LOVE to get this in front of a jury!

Man, this guy sure could use a Union right about now.

We had been on a date and a half (the half date was he had asked for a ride home from something else, and then asked if we could just go to my place to watch a movie. I was too spineless to say no). He left shortly after to go to school out of state, and called me to tell me he had "received revelation" that we were…

Hey now. At least hamsters are making that brutal choice for the sake of their own survival, choosing to reabsorb those calories because they don't think there are enough resources to keep them alive anyway. This cankerous asshole is just a hateful shit.

So many contenders for Worst Dad of All Time on Jez today :|

Fifty Shades of Poultry?

Yeah, adding butter to scrambled eggs to make them "creamier" is just cheating. Everything is creamier if you dump a pound of butter on it.