Aha! Well, it's beautiful, but I reeeaallly need someplace to keep my poison, y'know?

Definitely. We can all contain multitudes and I'm sorry for being a dick. If you have suggestions for better gifts — i.e. a donation to the Lilith Fund or another abortion access fund! — leave 'em here. I will be patiently waiting for someone to buy me a $3,000 vibrator. I'm sure it's going to happen ANY MINUTE.