Just a cookie? She should get the whole jar! My God, this was painful..

Add me to the list, the whole time I was thinking "mini-Franzen".

I understand why dudes would make nice with a lady's father back in the day. Her father's approval was required for any sort of commitment.

And now I will never have to bother reading Franzen, so it's an ill wind that blows no good.

The lack of death, generally speaking. He told me that he had mesothelioma, and that the doctors had given him a year. He told me that he'd been diagnosed while we were dating, but that he didn't want to worry me. He told me that he thought he'd gotten exposed to the asbestos when he worked for a trash hauling…

I was thinking the same thing. This is beyond eyeroll-y. More like call someone he needs a doctor. Also, talking about these kind of letters like their are simply written by douche bags makes it that much harder for people to notice red flags in people who need mental health help. I'd rather contact someone for…

Don't leave us hanging! What's the rest of the story?!?!?

You! YOU ARE MY FAVORITE. I was thinking "Franzen fanboy" the entire time.

I was seriously writing out "How much Jonathan Franzen do you think this guy has read?"

Dude, the REAL letter is like three times as long as the excerpts I posted. Seriously.

My friend had a stalker a while back who would do this. Send long, insane, self-depreciating e-mails "to himself" saying that he was scum and a worm and an adulterer that he would CC her in on, and then would casually drop comments like, "But I realize that she* is young and gorgeous now, but how soon will she be 30…

Me too. Whether or not he actually went through with suicide, I think it is completely inappropriate to mock this letter. Like, serious WTF. It reminds me of communications a bipolar friend used to send me before he was diagnosed and treated, and was really, really struggling. I hope the writer is able to receive…

You deserve a cookie for reading that entire thing. My eyes glazed over by the TL;DR summation.

Not only did you provide me with a single concrete target to project my fears and insecurities and Orientalist desires upon, you gave me someone to compete with, which is what I was implicitly doing every time I put my ideas to paper. I was trying to prove my eloquence and brilliance to someone whose own eloquence and…

Having encountered a few people who came by for some hot chocolate during their breaks from reality, I'm really leaning towards your way of thinking.

I had a guy lie to me about having cancer once after I broke up with him, but absolutely nothing like this. I can't even imagine.