One person’s garbage is another person’s ancient treasure.

Fuck. The only human thing about Hillary is her lesbianism. We’ve got to put a lid on this and FAST.

1. Sunscreen isn’t safe for anyone at any time, shit is so fucking toxic I CAN’T EVEN.

One small step for person and non-human personkind.

She is exceptionally beautiful. The kind of face and stature that makes one swoon and imply upon one’s own fevered boner-brain she must be in possession of magical and vital qualities, most certainly intelligence and honor! But then just a few clips of her on KUWTF and the spell is momentarily lifted. No. No, this…

Helped me, thanks!

It is now inevitable.

GET YOUR GODDAMN BABY OUT OF THE SUN, YOU FUCKING TWIT!!!!

Milkcrate, free behind rite aid. Wrong color? Spraypaint, rite-aid aisle 3. You’re welcome.

Milkcrate, free behind rite aid. Wrong color? Spraypaint, rite-aid aisle 3. You’re welcome.

Oh, right, yeah, I totally meant that I admired her in a completely hetero-normative girl-appreciation way. Completely.

I literally stopped breathing at the sight of her. I was just like a big dumb dude who imagines he saw the most magical, beautiful girl in the world.

Thank you Chan for the positive modeling of behavior in the face of the constant trolling that is one of the many rewards of being woman. Someday I too hope to pay the asses no mind and know that tomorrow I’m going to knock it out of the park. Until then shit like this just destroys and exhausts me into absolute…

Has he ever explained why he had to hold his own dick during the entire BJ? Could I pay a lot less just for that answer?

Also we needs the hot tubs.

Well, I’m glad to know she read my letter.

Look at that boy, all sweet and shit, easing some of the humiliating anguish away from this poor girl’s mortified soul. Mensch.

If the chimp is honest about who he really is, he’s got a real shot with me.

150 MINUTES!!!!!????

I just watched the entire tape and it fucking makes up for everything. But belongs on youtube, really.