Pfft. As a baseball purist, I find the Sacrifice Bunt Derby far more entertaining.

Christie tried going to a public beach, but the people from Green Peace kept trying to roll him into the ocean.

Making fun of his weight is just picking low hanging fruit, which Christie would never touch, unless it’s covered in chocolate or filling a pie; because he’s a fatty fatty 2x4, can’t fit through the kitchen door.

68 year old grandmother daily drives a Raptor, jumps it, nails landing in a swimming pool.

I wouldn’t have thought grandmas were a target demographic for Raptors.

Being able to depend on it. Driving a car and wondering when it’s going to break down or what’s going to fall off makes driving more stressful than fun.

Yes, yes, please don’t flip the Valkyries.

Damn, read a lot of super negative comments... its like no one is excited anymore when brands start shaking stuff up even a little. Oh no, a Big Body 2 Door Coupe with 300hp and AWD, BOOOOOOOOOOOO. We get it, its not cool to like chrysler, its not cool to like non-v8 non-turbo sports cars, and its DEFINETLY not cool…

It must have encountered an extremely modest bend in the road.

People don’t lift weights to become taller

Drive in reverse

Within 15 miles of Albuquerque:

I can see why a pig might drive a corn cob car, but a pig driving a hot dog car is just a bit disturbing.

Either way, we all know it’s just a rebadged bagel.

This guy knows what’s up with his $350 car.

That’s exactly what someone impersonating his twin brother on an NBA playoff team would say.

$38 grand? Might as well be asking a brazilian dollars for it.

My wife had my favorite, if slightly evil, way to get out of a ticket. We have twin boys who were about 18 moths old at the time. She got pulled over and reached back and pulled their pacifiers out of their mouths. Of course, they both started crying, and the officer let her go.

I got pulled over for speeding. The officer asked me why I was going so fast. I replied, “general stupidity.” She looked confused and said...what? I replied that i was speeding because I was stupid. She started laughing and said good answer. She gave me a warning.