Sarcasm guy gets confused by other sarcasm guy’s sarcasm

I was perfectly content with “because it does” as an answer to the title of this article. Curse you for making me learn Ballaban!

Jason, you are an idiot, but we all thought that long before this article. Plus, you’re OUR idiot.

And yet I still find him more tolerable than Clarkson.

So you’re telling me that if I have someone giving birth in my vehicle I can basically get away with driving as fast as I want?

But for the love of all things paint, please don’t use the scraper or brush to clear snow off your hood or roof.

What’s next, some kind of thinly sliced cured pork product on pizza? People are so gross.

So sword fight at midnight?

Seems cool

You do good things for good people Tom. Two E63 wagons. You do good things.

Don’t know if it qualifies as “mass market” but the Camaro Z/28 had optional air conditioning when it was available.

There was a Volkswagen Up! at the dealership I worked at for a summer which was imported under the same circumstances (its owner was a diplomat). I would not recommend buying THAT illegal Volkswagen under any circumstances as it was terrible to drive and it was at our service department for my entire tenure.

USA Today? More like USA Yesterday amirite

Permanently ground-in Cheerios have never moved faster.

You have an opportunity to make a four story kart track and waste it on a giant corkscrew and then a hill. And that’s it.

Was just thinking this morning “hmm, I wonder when the Black Friday deals on Nerf guns will start.” Amazing.

Was just thinking this morning “hmm, I wonder when the Black Friday deals on Nerf guns will start.” Amazing.

Natural selection won’t even do its thing here because autopilot is too good.

Maybe this is a bad joke that went way over my head but not only did Jason write this article, the article you’re referencing was also linked at the end.

NFS: Most Wanted is one of the best non-track racing games I’ve ever played and I’m on an eternal search for something that can fill the void (PS4 so I can’t play Forza)

You really didn’t read the article.