It’s only been 7 months. This seriously needs to stop. And to all of the people claiming that Trump is the lesser of two evils or that he and Hillary were the same....

Maybe these will go away faster if we start referring to them as “Civil War Participation Trophies.”

I sure hope he speaks English

Y’all remember when Bush 2.0 was sitting in there and we were having “respect the office” shoved down our throats every fucking day?

They’re a minor salve but here are a couple solid dunks from today:

And everyone knows he meant, “for your age.”

This is her. Pic is in the NYT article.

Good trailer, yes, but at no point did they show a release date for when this handmaidens tale prequel is coming to hulu.

Putin will bring menstruating women with him into a meeting to scare Trump.

As cliché as it sounds, I love this country. This country gave refuge to my entire family, and I will be grateful for as long as I live. And entirely understand that this country has not been as generous or as good to other peoples. I was not brought here in chains nor were my people indigenous and decimated, and…

Get it Britney. You’re in you’re mid-30's, still up on the stage, shaking your ass. I’m a fat mom in my 30's and I’m eating a 3 Muskateers bar at my desk.

I’m sorry, but Obama wore a tan suit to a press briefing. And at one point he put his feet on a desk.

Are you guys competing for who has the fluffiest story today or something?

Martha is still cuter than every single pug that has ever lived. #comeatmebro

I moved to a hat-wearing Euro country three years ago and at first, I made fun of the hats. Then, I got a pink hat as a “haha, look at how Euro I am” ironic wear at my first day at the races. Now I own multiple hats and can’t imagine going to a wedding without. Hats. Are. My. Thing. Now.

Why aren’t the NRA folks rioting over this? A responsible gun owner did everything you’re supposed to do but was killed.

OK, new rule: any sitting government official who answers ‘I can’t recall’ to any question about critical meetings they had under 6 months ago they had should be removed from office, because they are either a liar or have mental issues that disqualify them.

Evening everyone, Mortem is still playing with his bucket and spade, so it’s time for the UK roundup!