Baltimore: Donnie.

The ‘deviates from the premise’ bit would seem a bit weird on an ‘18 TV shows about clones’ article, though.

Soooo we’re all in agreeance the husband was definitely in there jerking off and not taking a dump, right?

HOLY SHIT THAT HUSBAND IN THE EMAIL OF THE WEEK

Waking up in ICU with amnesia.

Here, I made this to help with the visual. Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!

I know an elderly lady in Spain named Cecilia Jiménez that can do the work.  

This can only end in one possible way: Mama John has to start dating again, and they rebrand the comany as “Uncle Roger’s” pizza, the pizza that wants to cop a feel as it sloppily tucks you into bed at night.  Papa John can deliver pizza to you on alternate weekends and for three weeks in the summer.

Birds don't have dongs. 

Bad salespeople are the worst. I feel sorry for this moron’s manager. If you want to be a welcoming and attentive hostess, throw a damn dinner party AT HOME.

Imagine having a job where you have to perform some mildly unpleasant tasks. I guess it’s lucky that I take great pleasure from every conference call I have to attend.

Shit like this is why I never got into a life of crime. If you can’t even trust the guy you committed tax fraud with then really, who can you trust?

Shit, you as well?

“The day they mixed the white meats and the dark meats in buckets was the day our country lost something we can never, ever regain.”

No wife, girlfriend for now, but I absolutely do this was expensive Macross and Masterpiece Transformer toys. Whenever a package comes in she always gets to it first, then watches as I open it to assess the “damage”.

Everyone loves a Grisham

100%. “ok AF, level with me. Are we going to be gorgeous after this 2 miles?” “No, Brain, it takes like...a gajillion miles for that to happen.” “Then fuck this.”

Literally my brain’s approach to like all cardio ever. On the other hand, strength training is like “wait, so now we can pick up a heavier thing than two…

Two things?! Please remove one.

He’s the star of The Rural Juror

Get Pablo a column immediately.