You Don’t Have to Be a Fucking Stooge

Casual answer: you pay the high class athletes. For many riders, winning a single TdF stage would be the highlight of their career, but they also have bills to pay. This is like asking why anyone plays for the Knicks.

Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

Dude, you used the phrase ‘social just warrior’ and started a sentence with “I’m not racist.”

The dive after Altidore gets up and nudges him is what makes it art.

• Who is this energetic for a street fight at 6:50 a.m.

I knew a girl who swallowed a pin when she was 11 but didn’t feel a prick until she was 17.

Put this kid’s house in west Compton AND THEN you have a hit tv show!

More like varigross veins!

Her Spirited Away cosplay is on point!

When people ask what happened here, tell them that winter came for House Pornhub, and lots of people didn’t.

What if he doesn’t want to play for Dallas?

I can’t wait til Kaep caves, goes out and punches a woman and murders a few dogs and immediately gets offers from multiple NFL teams.

“Just tell him.” Indeed, why don’t most parents just use the “please don’t fuck with my shit” tactic? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, WHEN THERE ARE PARENTS OUT THERE IN NEED OF THIS ADVICE?! GO! FOR THE GOOD OF THE CITY!

it’s always easy in these comments to tell who doesn’t have kids

Not sure how you can argue MLB and Overwatch are similar enough to cause confusion. I mean Overwatch players are in far better physical condition.

Asked about Allen’s pronunciation of Cousins’ first name, a team spokesman said it sounded that way because of the Redskins president’s accent.

I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would make him faster.

The only thing not good here is you. How ‘bout them apples?

Or was that meant to be an insult..? In 2017...?