Sometimes the best Deadspin is “didn’t get the joke” Deadspin.

From Cracked’s indomitable Robert Brockway on the defilement that is Mario Lopez:

Please god let him wear number 4 just so he can adapt to the culture quickly.

-Going offline for the holidays is fucking great. I am young and awesome, so my friends and I rented a ginormous house in Rhode Island for the weekend, 17 of us, and just partied all weekend long. Beach days, volleyball and cornhole, grilling, playing so much Kings and flip cup and slap cup, discovered a new game…

This fucking dipshit is an approved commenter, and I’m not.

Rocky Marciano was much grittier and had more intangibles.

You know what to do. “Hail Magary, absent of grace. Chopped is with thee. Messed art thou among men, and messed is the food of thy kitchen. Jesus, dude. Holy Mary, Mother of God, what is this fucking column? And what’s with your fucking breath? Amen.”

I did not expect to read a discussion on 90's sitcoms S&P’s re amphetamines in an article about base running. Earth is full of wonders.

Having just made myself an expert in British law over the last 5 minutes, it appears Britain has a tier system.

Booo. I’m a well-spoken, liberal-politickin’ sort of pseudo-intellectual who spent all of his life hating on wrestling until last year when I watched Raw so I’d have something to chat about with the kids in the class I teach. And what I never got, but what I get now, is that it’s not some cynical operation,…

“I’m not from here! I have my own customs!”

You shut your fucking mouth.

You had many words for him. Oddly, none of them were, “My reading comprehension is not what it should be for someone who speaks and writes for a living.”

They were actually on Alygader, you can tell by the snout

Dear kid at the bowling alley that runs the SFII arcade game using only E Honda sumo headbutts: fuck you.

I demand that the Freeze be checked for PEDs, and if he is found clean, they should give him some.

Of course, my doctor tells me it’s somewhat harder to make another baby once you have a foul ball.

You can always make another baby, but there’s only one foul ball.

They call it ‘Rainbow Chic’