I also know you soccer nerds seem to think how much you complain directly correlates to how cool you appear.

I have to admit, when I first started reading DEADspin I expected more stories like this

Bobby, as someone who obviously knows their soccer inside and out, I have a question for you: That was totally a Bolivian ghost in that video on the other post, right?

Tom, I didn't think I'd bolivia, but now that I see the video, I do.

Never too early to learn that in this world there are Habs and there are Hab Nots.

He probably didn't see the camera.

His pace was closer to 4:55 per mile....I'm assuming that thud I just heard was your jaw hitting the floor.

when the men finish no one pays attention to the women anymore

*Skechers. I don't normally correct people on this sort of thing, but with the way these shoes tone my rear they deserve some respect.

Possibly, although I am more likely to kill myself on a motorcycle than complete 26.2 miles.

Hold on, let me check with Ray before I reply.

"did you get your tickets..."*slowly parts lips revealing huge gums and tiny teeth*"to the GUM SHOW?!?!"

"So typical! I was at the same game-where are my pictures? [thinks for a second] Never mind."

Kind of an odd choice for a Clippers' fan.

My God, it's full of stars!

Finger, or otherwise?

Tales of Gym Class Glory (or Shame) should be a reoccurring article.

When I was in 4th grade, I became a kickball legend. I was playing 2nd base, with runners on 1st and 2nd base, with no outs. Anyway, up comes the opposing team captain and he kicks a screaming line drive right to me (out #1). I catch the ball chest high, center mass. I pivot slightly to my right and notice the the…

I think her Def Leppard tribute is awesome.

The clean-shaven trend of the 20th century is the historical aberration, not the current bearded era. They may become less trendy, but it's never going to be the 1950s again. And that's what you anti-beardites are arguing for, you know. The 1950s.