*willfully. I didn’t, but better to be willfully stupid, which is fixable, than your kinda stupid, which you live and die with.

It’s not the ennui of existence that leads them to walk through the door, it’s the feeling of finality and completeness, the happiness of having achieved totality, you simple schmuck. They never say you’ll die again, they explicitly state “we don’t know what will happen.” That kind of exposition should be enough for…

Mulaney as the Evil Stepmother: “Eat ass, suck a dick, and sweep dust.”

How does this preclude them having fun on one Switch? It’s just a family island rather than everyone having a different one.

Oh man I had Timesplitters Future Perfect, multiplayer was so fun but you’re right.....F$%&ING MONKEYS!

Yes let’s not, now take your own advice and get the fuck outta here.

“It’s not like he was giving nuclear secrets to North Korea.”

Hey all my recipes are saved in my Bad Stuff folder, THAT COULD’VE BEEN ANYTHING

Let the record show, TadBravo is pro-kiddy porn, probably also a diddler.

Oh maaaaan, if you think Chinese tourists are not all disgusting garbage people, you have not lived a full life. I have had a Chinese tourist blow their nose onto their table in a packed restaurant. I’ve seen in the wild, a Chinese tourist pop a squat on the side of the road because there was no public bathroom in…

Having one removed is not a sign of no distraction. I have people come in frequently on their work lunch breaks, one or two earbuds in, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had a returned order because the person thinks they know what they want then when their food comes out they’re surprised at the ingredients.…

I mean, there’s an argument that you’re fucked in the head due to you grasping at straws to come up with the argument that this episode was advocating suicide. Yeesh

I wonder if the brewery was able to set itself up as a distributor if they’d be able to get around that. The brewery I work at distributes our own stuff locally, and uses a distributor for out-of-county stuff. Then again we don’t have the law itself to deal with.

“Server doing their job? Well, SOMEone just got themselves 10% less on their tip.”

That’s what I always look for in my psychopathic serial killers: scruples!

“...test results show that many people have trouble doing math when suddenly being burned alive.”

That’s cool. I liked it alot. I think it was an extremely accurately rated game of the year.

Ahhhh fleshbot, we hardly knew ye (biblically).

Wut. Just google carbonara and tell me how many recipes call for spaghetti in the name alone.

Starting a sentence with “I’m normally pretty chill/laidback/etc” is similar to starting with “I’m not a racist, but...” in that you know the following statement is going to instantly prove that opening the lie.