Now those are words Talib by.

“The lesson here is that it’s not always a good idea to do whatever the crazy old guy at the office tells you to do.”

“In lieu of a commemorative statue, the San Antonio Spurs are happy to announce that Tim will simply stand outside the arena at all times, stoically contemplating the horizon.”

Bullshit. Joe Jackson is a no talent hack who only got to where he did by exploiting his children’s talents with no regard for their well being. He has no place being elected to the hall of fame.

They should probably vet him before he visits. Then put him through some advanced interrogation, just to determine what his intentions are. Then if necessary, place him in some sort of camp until they determine what to do with people of his kind.

Wish? Pffftt! My brother actually executed professional ruin on the john wall after Taco Tuesday.

Good to see a Lakers player’s unrestrained id not result in rape charges for a change.

Jesus it’s Steph Curry and it’s not even close

Well, we know that his takes will be wide-left.

In difficult times such as these, it’s nice to see Americans go back to the one unifying, unambiguously good past-time that has lasted them for over 240 years: kicking the shit out of the Irish.

“I just get in their heads and screw with them. Take them out of their element. Just watch”

Can anyone hear/read the word “thrice” and not immediately think of Monty Burns’ batting instructions?

No idea how he got a hold of Louisiana Senate candidate David Duke’s speech.

You know, my thinking was very similar to this! But then I realized that Beal and Barnes are still very, very young, and I felt a moral duty to report the truth, which is that they are butt young players.

(I walk on stage at a press conference after another long day at the office)

For posterity, as there is a chance this may not last:

There sure is. And you can bet he won’t be paying for her tuition anymore.

"except the girl from high school I had been filling full of beers and shots so that I could get some action later. We head to an after party at a bar where I black out and proceed to accidentally grab my friend's wife's boobs"

Though that was only for people that actually graduate college on time. aka Nerds.

He said "culpability". The NFL fucking hates that word.