I’ve had some shitty roommates over the years, but DAMN. Cake taken!

Also feel the need to add:

I don’t know about criminal charges, but their other children need to be taken away. These white people get to keep their children, meanwhile Native American families have an uphill battle getting theirs back from white foster parents who never had the option to adopt. FFS.

I was taking a shower and washing my butt, as you do, and pulled on something. Kept pulling. Started freaking the fuck out. Threw whatever it was against the wall and kept freaking out. Thought for sure I had some sort of intestinal worm. It was a rice noodle. That I pulled out of my butt.

I respect that even though he’s a dude, Barry knew to use the universal gif for “PERIODS ARE THE WORST” as the lede image.

You take that back! C.A. Pinkham is hilarious!

This was the perfect result for crotchety white people; Cam Newton lost and didn’t have perfect grace so can now be called names like petulant etc and Beyonce was there and you know a black woman so they can find stuff to attack her about.

I’m over crochetty old white people talking shit about Beyoncé and Cam Newton this morning. Dear fellow white people:

To be honest, I didn’t understand any part of it until this morning. I could only follow Bruno Mars, the music for Beyonce and Coldplay, and then Coldplay’s Clocks.

The mix was pretty terrible, you couldn’t hear Chris Martin at all and Beyonce/Bruno were too quiet. I think they were going for some kind of stadium sound rather than just giving us their vocals directly and it just sounded like garbage.

Pssst, Kanye. Your wife didn’t become famous for cancer research. At least Amber Rose owns her past, where as your wife pretends hers didn’t exist.

Those fucking teachers are in a shit load of trouble.

Okay, I’ll give that all ten would probably be too much. But you could definitely combine a few of the top ten together for an even better time. Like, combining the bottom three would get you to maybe #4.

As a first generation American of Mancunian lineage, the photos are a visual representation of the song of my people - an alcohol-fueled, slurry, out-of-tune song.

I came here to say exactly that. It’s so funny reading all the non-UK folks shocked posts and all us UK folks being completely unphased (with a few mean jokes at Manchester’s expense for being all northern and Manchester).

If drinking was football, Scotland would be Spain. And Spain would be Scotland.

We are weirdly proud of this as we’re finally being recognised for being able to do something that doesn’t involve the bloody queen!

I write under male-sounding names online, and I have mixed feelings about it. Is it easier? Fuck yes. Does it make me angry how much easier it is? Fuck yes.

I tried this, and now my dent looks like shit.... although I probably should have cleaned the plunger better.