An ELECTED OFFICIAL adult, at that. Who the hell else was running? A dead chicken and a six week old newspaper wrapped around fish innards?

Wait, I’m sorry..

There’s a 99% chance this man refers to Republicans who disagree with him as “Cuckservatives”

It really does show something about this guy that he immediately thought of his penis when he read the name of the column.

Amber Heard was arrested for Domestic Violence? Fuck me. This is massive. Does this not match with what people from Depp’s side have been saying about how Amber was often the perpetrator and how security had to pull her off Depp?

weirdest package ever

This is what my mother in law wanted for her son. Instead she got a short, chubby, white girl, who waited 4 years to start having kids, and stays out late with her friends while her husband cooks dinner. Sorry Amma.

I was fond of this piece that explains his assistant:

Well, here’s one professor that understands humanity will not be slave to clothing.

I’m usually pretty anti-death penalty... but apparently there is a line in my head where it becomes the right - the only - option and that line is women in garbage bags.

Ah fan art, proving yet again that Rob Liefeld is not the only person with no understanding of human anatomy.

Nobody cares about Jenny. Everyone knows the only one that matters is Arcanine:

That is one gnarly dude of a professor.

“Those who download and possess child pornography create a market that causes more children to be harmed,” U.S. Attorney Eileen M. Decker said in a statement. “Young victims are harmed every time an image is generated, every time it is distributed, and every time it is viewed.”

There’s always drama in the banana stand.

Okay, ROLL CALL, who else is in this shameful arrangement?

I’m all about supporting our troops. And about women having to pass the same physical standards as men. Every woman partner I’ve had as a cop easily passed the same standards I did. My last one is still in better shape than I’ve ever been in. So, I know women can do it.

The drug companies these days...they’re winning in the drug-naming game! Adzenys! I almost sounds like a candy for kids. Take your Adzenys Jamie so you’ll act less zany!

Still, my favorite new drug name has to be Zohydro. You know Zohydro- the hydrocodone pill that isn’t cut with acetaminophen and has no abuse…

Yes. You don’t bring a knife to a fist fight, and you certainly don’t bring it to a conversation about returned gifts. He knew what he was ready to do.