Srsly though I have like fifteen hairs on my head. How on earth did I attract a mate?

I’m trying to take a lot of classes at the gym and get stronger and learn new skills, but I am already overdoing it and got injured so... new plan needed.

Meanwhile, check out my luscious, blonde hair:

I occasionally try to find a one-piece so I can swim without catching grief about my back tattoo, but they are always about four inches too short for my torso. I’m not even tall. What the hell, man?

Whoa wait hang on. I didn’t realize spice was a real drug. I thought we were making Dune jokes.

They say the parks are all empty on Super Bowl Sunday.

Oh my God. Someone lived out my childhood dream. Way to go!

Blah. Let’s move on from the sand thing. My friends did a baking soda volcano ceremony. I think it would be sweet if that caught on as a tradition.

I would so love to have just one piece of cat-related kitsch in my house, but I know that if I allowed one in, then the only gifts I’d ever receive would be more cat stuff.

Haha okay, fair enough. I was also unclear for like two years as to whether or not the Twilight thing had concluded. Let’s just use that comparison, instead.

Yep. And out here on the west coast, we watch the ball drop at 9pm while we’re getting ready to go out. It’s convenient that way. And also handy for parents who want to trick their kids into thinking they got to stay up late.

Hey, don’t feel bad. I only figured out this past week that there was another Hunger Games movie that I hadn’t seen.

Too much TV. Remember back when every person who gave a TV recommendation said, “You have to check out ‘The Wire’”? You’d get tired of hearing it, but at least you could feasibly watch all of ‘The Wire’ at some point.

He was so dignified as Henry V and then... frolicking.

Same. I lost my celebrity crush and got so confused by the experience that now I’ve spun around and started crushing on... Mads Mikkelson?!

Oh my goodness.

I was hoping SO HARD that he would die with a Jedi vanishing act instead of leaving a corpse.

I know someone who is a twin and really wanted her kids to be twins, too, so she intentionally got pregnant just a few months after delivering her first baby so the kids could at least be “Irish” twins.

The hubster and I were watching Batman Returns, last night, and Batman completely ruins the Penguin’s political career just by hacking the AV at dude’s election rally to play audio in which the Penguin expresses mild disrespect for the citizens of Gotham.

If you haven’t yet watched Aziz Ansari’s show “Master of None,” there’s an episode all about that. You might appreciate it.