I’m sure the superstars will be touched by the heartrending saga of these kids’ story, and I’m sure the moment they’re touched, they’ll grimace, drop to the ground, and cradle their knee, crying out in agony.

He’s playing Suge Knight. Tupac and Biggie are being played by Emma Stone and ScarJo.

Scat, skittle, scabobble!

I don’t understand why they aren’t telling the story that everyone wants to hear: the Saga of Maj. Bren Derlin.

Yeah have everybody and everything be implausibly connected! Always so interesting!

Also, for most other kinds of woes...

Keep trying, champ. One day you’ll last longer than 90 seconds.

Who says I don’t like the Radiohead?

Sounds like Pierce Hawthorne’s sneeze.

oh thank god internet hipsters are still talking about radiohead, there are still some constants in the world

Every time I thought it was going to end, it went on another 10 minutes.

Perhaps more of a Rorschach.

MILLENIALS!

Yeah, mom’s family never actually came to the US. The US formed around them.

Of all the bands that rapped to beats played off a MiniDisc, they were my favorite.

This man is not wrong.

Who has the best corned beef sandwich in Cleveland?

I’m always ready to rag on Weezer.